Who is Discernment Counselling for? If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. And Discernment Counselling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage

Unlike traditional couples therapy that focuses on working through issues to improve the relationship, Discernment Counselling helps couples explore three distinct paths:

  • Do we delay any major decisions, allowing for more time and consideration?
  • Do we end the marriage and pursue separation or divorce?
  • Do we continue the marriage and work on it through a solid commitment to couples therapy for a minimum of 6 months?

As a Discernment Counsellor, I can help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

What is the goal of Discernment Counselling? for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction for your marriage, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

What happens in a Discernment Counselling session? You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me. Why? Because you are starting out in different places. I will emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends. I will respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.

Number of Sessions: A maximum of 5 counselling sessions. The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 hours.

What are you asked to decide in session? Your only decision is whether you wish to have another session, and this question is asked at the end of each session. Please note: Not every couple will choose to have all 5 sessions. Discernment counselling does not push for one outcome or another but instead provides a structured space for both partners to deeply reflect on their individual and shared desires.

Is Discernment Counselling not suited for some situations?      It is not suited when:

  • one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • one spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • there is danger of domestic violence

How to find out more?
Step 1 Both spouses need to read up on this information and agree to find out more. 

Step 2 Each spouse reaches out to me via contact page in order to schedule a 20 minutes Zoom or telephone call. Please note: As much as one of you may really want to move forward, I cannot proceed until I have heard from you both individually;  not one person reaching out on behalf of you both.

Step 3 We have the 20 minute session – at no charge

Step 4 If we all believe Discernment Counselling is a good fit for your needs, we arrange an appointment either in person or via Zoom.